Bringing Class Back to Our Community

• Public hearings dominated by shouting and finger-pointing: this is the shameful current reality of a Korean community that has degraded itself.
• Dignified debate and the etiquette of mutual respect are the only keys to standing as true partners in mainstream society.
• Taking a cue from the mature meeting cultures of other ethnic groups, there is an urgent need for innovation to elevate the quality of our dialogue.

When do you truly feel like a member of a multicultural society? How did you satisfy your thirst for the Korean "mob rule" culture, where the loudest voice wins? It might be hard to readily agree, but the greatest realization one gains from living here is that "the first thing we must learn is not knowledge, but the 'etiquette of treating those who hold different opinions from our own.'"

Public hearings in the Korean community and board meetings of major organizations often resemble pandemonium. Ignoring the set agenda and the right to speak is commonplace, and interrupting others with loud shouts before they have even finished speaking happens all the time. Instead of logical criticism, personal attacks and abusive remarks like "How old are you?" or "How long have you lived here?" run rampant. Even for those who have weathered many unexpected situations, the senseless rudeness displayed at some gatherings exposes a shameful true face that defies description. Such irrational behavior not only paralyzes decision-making but also turns the gaze of the next generation and mainstream society ice-cold.

We are members of the multicultural orchestra that is Canada. To produce a harmonious sound in this orchestra, we must objectively observe the etiquette adhered to by other ethnic communities. Consider the "Town Hall Meetings" of Canadian mainstream society, which boasts a strong tradition of British parliamentary democracy. They revere "Robert's Rules of Order" as gospel. No matter how fierce the debate becomes, the floor is granted only with the chairperson's permission, and speakers politely direct their opinions to the chair, not to their opponent. It is their ironclad rule to hear someone out to the end, even if their argument seems absurd. This is not simply a matter of good manners, but a highly sophisticated strategy for maintaining community order.

The Jewish community's debate culture is even more fierce, yet deeply dignified. Based on the tradition of "Havruta," they are highly skilled at one-on-one or group debates. Voicing an opposing opinion is a given, but it never leads to personal attacks. Rather, they conclude the debate by expressing gratitude to the opponent who posed sharp questions. Because of this "dispute based on respect," they do not fracture; instead, they maintain strong cohesion, enabling them to exert influence on core policy decisions within Canadian mainstream society.

The meeting style of Japanese Canadians is also worth noting. At external events or public meetings, they are extremely wary of any behavior that might tarnish the "face" of their community. When there are differences of opinion, they go through a prior coordination process called "Nemawashi" (laying the groundwork) before the meeting, or they express their views politely using restrained language during the meeting itself. This is because they believe that shouting is a disgrace that degrades the dignity not only of themselves but of the entire community. This display of restraint serves as the nourishment that instills trust in mainstream politicians, proving they are a "rational group that can be trusted and reasoned with."

In contrast, our Korean community's rude debate culture ultimately closes the window of communication with mainstream society. If we are seen yelling and fighting amongst ourselves at public hearings attended by local MPs or city hall officials, would they ever take our demands seriously? In their eyes, we are not "sophisticated citizens" but merely an "out-of-control interest group." In fact, there are rumors that in a certain region, the Korean community was pushed down the priority list for provincial government grants due to chronic internal disputes and ill-mannered protests. A lack of etiquette is not just a matter of hurt feelings; it is an economic loss that chips away at the community's practical interests.

Dignity cannot be bought with wealth or a flashy resume. It stems from the "etiquette" of acknowledging the existence of others and asserting one's views within established rules. In the "Cyber Museum" championed by young Korean talents, the "records of rudeness"—the dark underside of our immigration history—should be collected without filter. Thus, not only our history of success, but also the senseless behaviors exhibited in public forums should be recorded as cautionary tales. We must not forget the saying that how we act when no one is watching determines our true caliber. Now, the Korean community must make the "advancement of our meeting culture" a top priority. Introducing standardized rules of order and providing professional "facilitation" training that imposes strict sanctions on violators would be an excellent policy alternative. We must move away from an era where the volume of one's voice equates to power, and advance toward an era where the depth of logic and the dignity of attitude command authority. When our grown children attend Korean community events, we want them to feel a sense of pride watching their parents' generation engage in orderly debate and considerate manners. Only then will a genuine generational shift be possible. When those who aspire to lead first listen with a humble attitude and choose language that respects their counterparts, will the air within our community not finally clear?

The dignity of an immigrant society is determined not by the height of the buildings we own, but by the depth of the conversations we share. I hope that government agencies formulating policies for overseas Koreans and scholars studying them will now look beyond statistical figures and pay attention to our community's internal culture and the growth of our civic consciousness. If we cannot shake off the label of "mannerless Koreans," the economic success we have built is nothing more than a castle built on sand. A dignified Korean community does not begin with grandiose slogans; it begins today, with the simple courtesy of listening until the very end to the person standing right in front of us. That is the duty of all of us living as members of Canada's mature society, and the most noble legacy we can pass down to future generations. Let the criticism be harsh, but let us remember that many Koreans sincerely hope our community will master the art of conversation and soar to greater heights.